As it turns out, this is also the vehicle by which Marvel introduces a bald, black Nick Fury into the 616 Marvel Universe. And I know what you’re thinking, it’s the first thing that came to my mind as well: Did they bring back the same heroin-addicted plastic surgeon prostitute that once turned the Punisher into a black man? Amazingly, no! I can’t imagine why not; Marvel’s in danger of losing that valuable piece of intellectual property if they don’t use it. No, they went with the much more pedestrian method of introducing Fury’s heretofore unknown son, who bears a striking resemblance to a famous movie actor if you remove his hair and left eye (which they do). And his name’s Nick Fury too! I mean, he’s lived with the name Marcus Johnson for 30-something years, but on paper his name is Nick Fury Jr., so naturally that’s what he calls himself now. Minus the “Jr” part, presumably.

I don’t actually have anything against losing the old Nick Fury. There could be some be some great story potential in having a SHIELD higher-up that doesn’t have a lifetime of history with all the superheroes. (Like Maria Hill, but less…Bendisy) And I’m not even necessarily against Marvel’s overly-optimistic leap of faith that the Avengers movie will bring in enough new comics readers to justify changing a thing. It’s just amazing that Marvel honestly thinks this is an easier explanation for new readers to accept than simply saying, “He’s black in the movies and white in the comics”. The Ultimate universe need not even be mentioned, just “he’s black in the movies and white in the comics”. Like audiences have never encountered such a thing before. They’ve never read a book that’s been turned into a movie.

And don’t even get me started on the other guy.

By fortuitous coincidence. Nick Fury also has a friend named Phil Coulson, who looks just like Matt Murdock! It would’ve probably made more sense to make him look a little like Clark Gregg, but no, mavericks that they are, Marvel went another way.

Frankly, as much as I love Coulson in the movies, I really don’t see that there’s anything so inherently unique about him that that exact character has to exist in the comics. He’s an everyman who deadpans his way through a fantastic universe, and Gregg plays that role fantastically in the films, but the Marvel comics have no shortage of that kind of character. Hell, pretty much every named SHIELD agent fits that description.

None of these additions are BAD, per se, it’s just slightly unsettling to see that this is what Marvel’s mind immediately goes when it comes to the issue of being more new-reader friendly. Not the unwieldy franchises of tie-ins and spin-offs that serve only to devalue the strength of the brands they sprung from. Not the over-reliance on huge event crossovers that constantly shift status quos before any of them have a chance to really build into something that might catch on. But this.

Quotable quotes from @JoshCritic:

“I’d have more respect for Marvel if they just stuck the old white Nick Fury in that “makes you black” machine Superman has.”

And frankly, if you haven’t already seen Avengers, that’s what you should be doing this very second instead of visiting our dopey site. I’d even say a second or third viewing is more important than this.

We told you. We goddamn told you.

I’m not saying that Joss Whedon is a one-trick pony. I’m just saying he loves this particular trick very, very much.

Fortunately, the only thing more predictable than this death was that the Avengers movie would be fan-fucking-tastic, and it was. There’s a school of thought that says, after so many successful setup movies, that this would be next to impossible to get wrong. Even a half-assed Avengers movie would drive comic fans and moviegoers wild. But this was not half-assed in the least. I’ve seen it twice, and I’m still amazed at how lean it is; so much going on in every scene, and so little fat. At 2 hours and 20 minutes, the movie still flew by, leaving me wanting an entire 4th act in lieu of the usual after-credit scene. (Of which there are two; one mid-way through, and another at the very end. Our boys are reacting to the first of these)

Quotable quotes from @JoshCritic:

“Avengers FCBD: How hilarious is it that they went back and colored the nude Spider-Woman to make it look like her costume’s still on? Where was this concern for the non-adult-male audience Marvel pretends to court back when the issue was first fucking published?”

As it is, I heard the stories about Didio’s off-the-cuff explanation of why Wally West isn’t in the New 52 and the “skeptical fan” being won over by pages of Before Watchmen over Twitter. Also a funny story about some Marvel employees getting stranded after their flight was canceled, which would have made for a good comic in its own right, but that would have been too “inside baseball” even for US.

Quotable quotes from @JoshCritic:

“I like to think I’m generally a fan of whimsy but the Ultimate Spider-Man cartoon makes me want to open a vein and leak out like a Capri Sun.”