The new Ghost Rider movie isn’t going to generate all that much conversation. It isn’t good, but it’s not really bad enough to be noteworthy. The first movie was only worth watching for a few interesting visuals (GR riding up and down that building was awesome, you can’t deny it), and this one’s no different. Except that Nic Cage’s acting is even worse and Ciarán Hinds proves he’s capable of turning in a shitty performance as well.

It is kinda weird how it tries to keep a general continuity with the last one while getting just about every specific detail wrong. Like the writer’s only familiarity with the first film came from a Wikipedia synopsis written in another language and run through Google Translate. So apparently instead of having a Penance Stare, Ghost Rider just sucks out bad guys’ souls now. Or he explodes them with his chain. And innocent blood no longer need be spilled, a bad guy is anyone who’s ever done anything wrong at any point in their life. Mephistopheles has changed his name to Roarke, and Johnny shows little to no interest in “controlling his curse” so he can use it against him.

Okay, I guess. Why wasn’t this just a reboot? Is this “New 52” version of Ghost Rider?

Quotable quotes from the world of comics:

“[Brett Ratner has] been on something of an apology tour trying to get back in the good graces of the gay community and the industry at large ever since. Meanwhile, an apology for X-Men: The Last Stand is still outstanding.”
Linda Ge, Bleeding Cool

The thing about X-Men vs Avenyaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn not into it.

The latest Avengers trailer is enough to make me want to join a church, because it’s as close to proof that God exists as we’re ever likely to get.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, the tie-in toy line is as terrible as the trailer is amazing. I won’t go into detail and steal Shortpacked’s shtick (unless you want me to, then I’ll rob them blind without remorse), but it’s mostly repaints and a couple new figures with limited articulation.

The only notable thing about the toys is something I read on ComicBookMovie.com about the electronic talking figures. Check out what phrases Thor has to lay on us:

“Hulk, truly thou art the strongest!”
“Captain, I will follow you any day.”
“Hulk, truly your strength is unmatched!”
“Iron Man, you are a valued warrior.”
“My name is Thor!”

Jesus. Kiss ass much, Thor? Now I’m going to be disappointed if Thor isn’t constantly complimenting people…especially the Hulk, for some reason…in every one of his scenes. And introducing himself.

THOR: “My name is Thor!”
FURY: “Yes, I know, Thor.”
THOR: “Nick Fury, your head is magnificently round!”
FURY: “Yes, thank you.”

Quotable quotes from the world of comics:

Over the last few decades, the comics industry has done very well at selling more and more comics to fewer and fewer people, with a general trend of comics selling less, mitigated by a number of bumps along the line. The current policy seems to be exacerbating that, and short term gains may lead to long term losses. And that wonÕt be good for anyone.
Rich Johnston, Bleeding Cool

I’ve really got nothing specifically against the new Spider-Man movie. I don’t think the cast is bad, I don’t dislike the new costume, and the Lizard…well, looks silly, but no sillier than the Green Goblin or Abomination. 

But as much as I have nothing against it, I’m also not really that pumped up about it. And I’m not seeing many other fanboys get pumped up about it either. Maybe that would be different in a year without Avengers or Dark Knight Rises, but then again, maybe not. It would still be the 4th Spider-Man movie, and when you start hitting that number, franchises usually become something you watch instead of something you’re really excited about. In 2002, I stared at my TV screen like a mental patient when each and every commercial came on, still not quite able to believe I was seeing a live-action Spider-Man swinging around. Now it’s like, “Oh, he’s still swinging, huh? No, no, that’s cool.”

Add to that, the reboot factor. There’s nothing wrong with reboots, they happen all the time and can easily be successful. Batman Begins and Casino Royale both revitalized their respective franchises, but they both marketed heavily on what made them different from their most recent incarnations. This was serious Batman, who could almost conceivably exist in the real world. This was rough-around-the-edges James Bond, without the endless quips and perfect hair and laser ejector-seat underpants. The Amazing Spider-Man trailers aren’t giving us that “this ain’t your father’s Spider-Man” vibe. Quite the contrary, they’re very much saying “this is exactly your father’s Spider-Man. And your older brother’s Spider-Man, and even your Spider-Man from a little while ago. And hey, here’s how he got his powers again.”

I dunno, it could be a great movie. I’m just not losing any sleep over it.

Quotable quotes from the world of comics:

“Avengers X-Sanction #4 was abysmal. Seriously. The attempt at having a point followed through on a fan-predicted plot point envisioned and foreshadowed before Bishop chased Cable through time, and that means this entire storyline served no purpose. Argh.”
Hannibal Tabu, The Buy Pile

BIG SPOILER for the Avengers movie below the cut, so be forewarned.

And frankly, if you haven’t already seen Avengers, that’s what you should be doing this very second instead of visiting our dopey site. I’d even say a second or third viewing is more important than this.

(more…)

Like Josh, I was caught by surprise by Marvel’s “Battle Scars” mini-series. I’m sure what happened is I heard of it, assumed it was a “Fear Itself” followup, and ran off in the other direction. And after all, who could be blamed for that?

As it turns out, this is also the vehicle by which Marvel introduces a bald, black Nick Fury into the 616 Marvel Universe. And I know what you’re thinking, it’s the first thing that came to my mind as well: Did they bring back the same heroin-addicted plastic surgeon prostitute that once turned the Punisher into a black man? Amazingly, no! I can’t imagine why not; Marvel’s in danger of losing that valuable piece of intellectual property if they don’t use it. No, they went with the much more pedestrian method of introducing Fury’s heretofore unknown son, who bears a striking resemblance to a famous movie actor if you remove his hair and left eye (which they do). And his name’s Nick Fury too! I mean, he’s lived with the name Marcus Johnson for 30-something years, but on paper his name is Nick Fury Jr., so naturally that’s what he calls himself now. Minus the “Jr” part, presumably.

I don’t actually have anything against losing the old Nick Fury. There could be some be some great story potential in having a SHIELD higher-up that doesn’t have a lifetime of history with all the superheroes. (Like Maria Hill, but less…Bendisy) And I’m not even necessarily against Marvel’s overly-optimistic leap of faith that the Avengers movie will bring in enough new comics readers to justify changing a thing. It’s just amazing that Marvel honestly thinks this is an easier explanation for new readers to accept than simply saying, “He’s black in the movies and white in the comics”. The Ultimate universe need not even be mentioned, just “he’s black in the movies and white in the comics”. Like audiences have never encountered such a thing before. They’ve never read a book that’s been turned into a movie.

And don’t even get me started on the other guy.

By fortuitous coincidence. Nick Fury also has a friend named Phil Coulson, who looks just like Matt Murdock! It would’ve probably made more sense to make him look a little like Clark Gregg, but no, mavericks that they are, Marvel went another way.

Frankly, as much as I love Coulson in the movies, I really don’t see that there’s anything so inherently unique about him that that exact character has to exist in the comics. He’s an everyman who deadpans his way through a fantastic universe, and Gregg plays that role fantastically in the films, but the Marvel comics have no shortage of that kind of character. Hell, pretty much every named SHIELD agent fits that description.

None of these additions are BAD, per se, it’s just slightly unsettling to see that this is what Marvel’s mind immediately goes when it comes to the issue of being more new-reader friendly. Not the unwieldy franchises of tie-ins and spin-offs that serve only to devalue the strength of the brands they sprung from. Not the over-reliance on huge event crossovers that constantly shift status quos before any of them have a chance to really build into something that might catch on. But this.

Quotable quotes from @JoshCritic:

“I’d have more respect for Marvel if they just stuck the old white Nick Fury in that “makes you black” machine Superman has.”