This comic features a couple pet peeves of mine that pop up from time to time. One of them is super villains being kept in jail in their costumes, and the other (which doesn’t happen as often, but enough to be worth goofing on) is villains who don’t have any mental problems ending up in Arkham Asylum, usually in splash pages and group shots and the like. Penguin was the funnier one to use, but this more often happens to guys like Killer Croc and Clayface.

(Then again, depending on who’s writing Croc at the time, he might actually be insane. But characterization inconsistency is a whole ‘nother topic.)

Quotable quotes from the world of comics:

“That said, I seriously question the wisdom of using Lord Deathstrike in [X-Men #26] before Jason Aaron has even finished his first arc in Wolverine, and at a stage when he’s still being used in that book as an unstoppable newcomer.  Once Wolverine’s beaten him, then he can have a sword fight with Jubilee.”
Paul O’Brien, House to Astonish

Like Josh, I worked in a comic book store for many years. It was a much better place than the exaggerated store of the strip, but it was a business of modest means and clientele that invested heavily in the 90s speculator market. So on any given day, I might spend a good two or three hours in the back room, watching the monitor for customers who never came, surrounded by a veritable mountain of Archer & Armstrongs, Brigades, and copies of the Death of Superman. So sometimes I wonder how many of my little jokes are actually relevant to anyone else out there who’s worked in retail comics, and how many serve only to amuse me and my unique brand of nostalgia.

Quotable quotes from the world of comics:

“I’ve often said I miss text on covers, but I mean as part of the actual cover. On [Avengers Academy #27] we get the idiotic Avengers vs. X-Men shit on the top (why is the “It’s Coming” in quotation marks? is someone saying it, or are they being ironic?), but we also get the side bar telling us that the Runaways are guest-starring in this issue, which I guess we needed because it’s not like they’re right there on the cover…can’t people look at the cover and figure out that someone is guest-starring, even if they’re not familiar with the Runaways? Because if they’re not, telling us that the Runaways are guest-starring isn’t going to help.”
Greg Burgas, Comics Should Be Good

Last time, we lauded Bendis’ popularity. This time, we goof on his horrendously drawn-out, ultra-boring Dark Avengers/HAMMER returns story line. Them crazy sumbitches at Comic Critics!, you never know what they’ll do next.

Not much to talk about this time. I’ve let my comic pulls stack up for a couple of weeks at my LCS, something that is becoming distressingly easier and easier to do. I’ve even cut my pull list substantially so I could start downloading more off of Comixology (as a MUCH needed space-saving attempt), but I often can’t even work up the energy to do that.

By far the best comic I’ve read in recent months has been Kate Beaton’s Hark! A Vagrant, a hardcover collection of her web comic of the same name. It’s a brilliantly funny collection that casts a much wider net than your average web comic, skewering all of American (and pre-American) history. It’s great to read a comic that actually teaches you things as it entertains. I haven’t been able to say that since Reed Richards taught me how far away the moon is from the Earth, many years ago.

For instance, did you know Jules Verne had a problem with fellow science fiction writer H.G. Wells? Me neither! Turns out Verne didn’t like how Wells would just make up outlandish technology for his stories (time machines, Martian spaceships, yadda yadda) instead of basing them in real-world science. Can you imagine the Twitter wars those two would have today?

The thing about X-Men vs Avenyaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn not into it.

The latest Avengers trailer is enough to make me want to join a church, because it’s as close to proof that God exists as we’re ever likely to get.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, the tie-in toy line is as terrible as the trailer is amazing. I won’t go into detail and steal Shortpacked’s shtick (unless you want me to, then I’ll rob them blind without remorse), but it’s mostly repaints and a couple new figures with limited articulation.

The only notable thing about the toys is something I read on ComicBookMovie.com about the electronic talking figures. Check out what phrases Thor has to lay on us:

“Hulk, truly thou art the strongest!”
“Captain, I will follow you any day.”
“Hulk, truly your strength is unmatched!”
“Iron Man, you are a valued warrior.”
“My name is Thor!”

Jesus. Kiss ass much, Thor? Now I’m going to be disappointed if Thor isn’t constantly complimenting people…especially the Hulk, for some reason…in every one of his scenes. And introducing himself.

THOR: “My name is Thor!”
FURY: “Yes, I know, Thor.”
THOR: “Nick Fury, your head is magnificently round!”
FURY: “Yes, thank you.”

Quotable quotes from the world of comics:

Over the last few decades, the comics industry has done very well at selling more and more comics to fewer and fewer people, with a general trend of comics selling less, mitigated by a number of bumps along the line. The current policy seems to be exacerbating that, and short term gains may lead to long term losses. And that wonÕt be good for anyone.
Rich Johnston, Bleeding Cool

Comic or not, Daryl is badass. I can’t wait for him to meet Michonne.

That final panel is only partly autobiographical. It’s true that 18 years ago (son of a bitch, EIGHTEEN YEARS?), I was sat on the couch watching the black costume episodes of the Fox Spider-Man cartoon. And I did find it strange that they introduced the concept of the costume increasing Spider-Man’s powers and making him more aggressive. But unlike Josh, I did not foresee that this would become the symbiote’s defining trait in the comics.

To be honest…it does work, at least as a reason for Peter to reject the symbiote. It’s certainly better than his reason in the comics: “What, this thing is alive? It has hopes and dreams? Quick, lock it in a cage and forget about it!” So I don’t overly mind that little bit of revisionist history.

The part of it that’s a shame is it reduces the character of Venom to “guy possessed by an evil alien”. And he always had a much neater origin than that. The symbiote was a jilted lover, and Eddie Brock was a paranoid schizophrenic, and they combined to create essentially the first super-villain stalker. Say what you will about writer David Michelinie, but he was notable for introducing villains with more complex goals than robbing banks (Chance, Taskmaster, Justin Hammer, etc).

Venom’s history and motivations have become a continuity quagmire over the years, including some truly horrid stories where the symbiote starts craving people’s brains or feeding off the cancer cells in Eddie Brock’s body. The current Venom series by Rick Remender is actually quite enjoyable, embracing the “troubled guy influenced by evil alien” shtick to good effect. But I do still miss stalker Venom–the delusional human host and an alien that just doesn’t understand no means no–who would casually walk up to Aunt May’s door and creepily ask if Peter could come out and play.

(No, seriously, what the fuck, EIGHTEEN YEARS?!?!)

Quotable quotes from the world of comics:

“I don’t need help. Thanks, Alfred. I work alone. Thanks, Dick. Thanks, Barbara. Thanks, Tim. I’m not a team player. Thanks, Justice League.”
ItsJustSomeRandomGuy, Sh*t Batman Says